In conducting research for today’s blog, I stumbled upon a humorous blog (www.futureofrealestatemarketing.com) with real estate terminology from the Department of Mathematics at Washington State University and the ConstructionDeal.com blog.

We’ve all seen these catchy little phrases that realtors like to use when describing their listings, but what do they really mean? Thanks to this list, now we can know.

  • Old charmer – an old and ugly house
  • Easy freeway access – noisy arterial street close to the freeway
  • Low maintenance yard – no yard; kids will have to play in the street
  • Ready move in – interior has been painted with one coat of cheap paint
  • Desirable neighborhood – this little house is extravagantly overpriced because the neighborhood has a snobbish reputation
  • Large family room – large basement
  • Lots of storage space – basement too small to be called a family room
  • Partial mountain view – you can see the tip of Mt. Olympus if you climb on your roof
  • Efficiently designed kitchen – the kitchen is too small to fit two people at the same time
  • Stunning house – this house is not ugly
  • Ready to remodel – the house is about to collapse; you will have to invest twice the asking price in remodel before you can move in
  • Meticulously maintained in the original condition – the appliances are 50 years old
  • Bedroom in basement – basement has a 1′ by 2′ window
  • Won’t last! - this property will never sell as the agent just jinxed it